Many a times, we
forget that we are loved. People, who do love us, expect a great deal from us like
for instance, our Parents, drilling us constantly to clean between toes or
polish shoes or continue with our education. The decision remains up to us
always. We may argue, create a fuss or rudely ignore their suggestions.
Throughout the years however we begin to notice the reasons for their concerns
and one of them definitely being not to RULE over us. They obviously want us to
be better human beings and achieve much more than they did.
It may be difficult to sustain a Happy Married Life together if spouses constantly disagree or Argue. Similarly your Teenage Son/ Daughter may be acting difficult for reasons you are unable able to figure out.
What do you do then, how do you behave? Are you supposed to stomp out of the room angrily, cut off pocket-money or hurl things at each other in vengeance?
LISTEN & BE PATIENT- Do not interrupt while someone is speaking to you. If you stop them mid-sentence, the result is more likely to be more frustration and anger. Think about whatever they say as an 'Opinion' but do remember that this doesn't necessarily have to be a reasonable Viewpoint. This may be particularly difficult to do if your companion often gets excited but remember that the more he/she suppresses their anger, the more unfavorable for you. So let them have their say, your turn will come to.
DON'T RETALIATE- Usually when an argument takes place, we tend to get too excited and wrapped up in the moment. Pause and rethink your Actions. Are you trying to convey a message or are you trying to win WWF? Be rational and speak slowly, trying to make eye contact whenever possible. You will slowly begin to reason with your companion and think productively.
NEVER ABUSE- Alright, so you blurted out some bad words. Now what? Apologize and be quick about it. Abusing only adds to the Problem or Issue at hand. Always remember that if you wish to be respected, you need to first show respect to others.
SOLVE THE PROBLEM- Do not wait for an opportunity to have the same argument again because the next time, you will almost certainly remember your first ordeal. Simply be Logical, realistic and practical and if your companion fails to see reason, then approach the same issue at a relatively laid-back setting, maybe while both of you are sun-bathing or having evening tea together.
STOP RELATING- This happens to many of us. We tend to relate one incident to all arguments or mishaps. We need to remember that everything happens when it needs to and that many choices in life are inevitable. If you solve a problem do not relate to it over and over again, this only makes your companion more irritated because like you put in alot of effort being patient and listening to his/her opinions, he/she too may have tried their very best to avoid harsh words or an ignorant attitude.
MOST IMPORTANTLY- Remember that two people cannot be angry at the same time. Your notion is to solve the problem and not make it worse. When one talks, the other listens and if he/she doesn't talk or listen, make them do so. Over the years we have noticed how couples separate or divorce each other due to lack of communication. Take time out to talk to each other. Be a good listener and a Good Advisor.
The next time you have an argument, try to keep your cool and refer to the tips listed above. I am certain you will enjoy 'The New Controlled YOU.'
It may be difficult to sustain a Happy Married Life together if spouses constantly disagree or Argue. Similarly your Teenage Son/ Daughter may be acting difficult for reasons you are unable able to figure out.
What do you do then, how do you behave? Are you supposed to stomp out of the room angrily, cut off pocket-money or hurl things at each other in vengeance?
LISTEN & BE PATIENT- Do not interrupt while someone is speaking to you. If you stop them mid-sentence, the result is more likely to be more frustration and anger. Think about whatever they say as an 'Opinion' but do remember that this doesn't necessarily have to be a reasonable Viewpoint. This may be particularly difficult to do if your companion often gets excited but remember that the more he/she suppresses their anger, the more unfavorable for you. So let them have their say, your turn will come to.
DON'T RETALIATE- Usually when an argument takes place, we tend to get too excited and wrapped up in the moment. Pause and rethink your Actions. Are you trying to convey a message or are you trying to win WWF? Be rational and speak slowly, trying to make eye contact whenever possible. You will slowly begin to reason with your companion and think productively.
NEVER ABUSE- Alright, so you blurted out some bad words. Now what? Apologize and be quick about it. Abusing only adds to the Problem or Issue at hand. Always remember that if you wish to be respected, you need to first show respect to others.
SOLVE THE PROBLEM- Do not wait for an opportunity to have the same argument again because the next time, you will almost certainly remember your first ordeal. Simply be Logical, realistic and practical and if your companion fails to see reason, then approach the same issue at a relatively laid-back setting, maybe while both of you are sun-bathing or having evening tea together.
STOP RELATING- This happens to many of us. We tend to relate one incident to all arguments or mishaps. We need to remember that everything happens when it needs to and that many choices in life are inevitable. If you solve a problem do not relate to it over and over again, this only makes your companion more irritated because like you put in alot of effort being patient and listening to his/her opinions, he/she too may have tried their very best to avoid harsh words or an ignorant attitude.
MOST IMPORTANTLY- Remember that two people cannot be angry at the same time. Your notion is to solve the problem and not make it worse. When one talks, the other listens and if he/she doesn't talk or listen, make them do so. Over the years we have noticed how couples separate or divorce each other due to lack of communication. Take time out to talk to each other. Be a good listener and a Good Advisor.
The next time you have an argument, try to keep your cool and refer to the tips listed above. I am certain you will enjoy 'The New Controlled YOU.'
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